The Christmas Message - John 1

Quick update before I proceed to a Christmas passage. Not much happened today on the job or home front. In some ways I feel like I am living the movie Groundhog Day. Until I finally land the job every day is very similar. Again today I put in more applications online and searched for leads and made a few telephone contacts. Again today nothing solid materialized. I'm not too worried about it right now because the next couple of weeks are sort of dry anyway because of Christmas and New Years. So until then I'll just lather, rinse, repeat (being a bald guy, that metaphor always bothers me a bit).

I'm now exploring housing possibilities because we will need a place to stay very soon. I've focused most of my efforts on one neighborhood because our friends live there and it has a great community center (complete with treadmills!). There is one house for rent available there and a couple of inventory homes available. The inventory homes would be great because you can get a pretty good deal at this time of the year. However, there's that job thing that continues to be a sticking point. I talked to a mortgage broker today to see what our options are, and I'll continue to look tomorrow before Cheryl and the kiddos come down for the Christmas trip to DC and the 'burgh.

Now for a quick Christmas passage. I've been mulling over the importance of Christmas lately, especially since I've been listening to John MacArthur's sermon series during my morning runs (as in exercise, not...well, you know). I found a good familiar passage in John that wraps up the message of Christmas, even though it does not specifically spell out the Christmas story.

John 1:9-18 (ESV), "9 The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world. 10He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. 11He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. 12But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, 13who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.
14And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. 15 (John bore witness about him, and cried out, "This was he of whom I said, 'He who comes after me ranks before me, because he was before me.'") 16And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. 17For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. 18 No one has ever seen God; the only God, who is at the Father’s side, he has made him known."

That's it for now. Maybe over the next couple of blogs I'll expound. But for now, I'll just let it stand on its own.

Soli Deo Gloria!

A Pretty Good Day in God's Mercy

One of the coolest things that has happened to me recently was that I received an advanced reader's copy of Gary Thomas' new book The Beautiful Fight a couple of months ago. People that know me well will get a good chuckle out of that because in no sense have I ever been considered an advanced reader. At best I am a plodder, and I always have been. I have tremendous retention, but pitiful speed. Therefore it was quite a shock when this advance reader copy came to me from Zondervan. But, since Gary Thomas is one of my favorite contemporary authors, I was thrilled. And now, three months later, I am six chapters into it (I told you I'm slow!), and I am even more thrilled. It is excellent spiritual nourishment, and I highly recommend it to supplement your devotional reading. I'd like to share briefly about one thought from the book that has been recirculating in my heart this week.

If you have been keeping up with us, through this blog or in real live conversation, you know that these past few weeks and months have been somewhat of a valley, not in the sense that we are in the depths of despair, but very much in the Biblical sense of being in a transitional place where God leads you through on the way to somewhere else. We know God is leading us in this time, yet the terrain seems somewhat treacherous. When I was discussing this with a friend who has also been through some treacherous valleys, I remarked that there must be some sort of "Valley Theology" that could be developed from Scripture. We both agreed that the Psalms would be a good place to develop such a theology, and he even e-mailed me an excellent musical adaptation of Psalm 134 that he wrote after he went through his valley.

But I think that if I were to develop a "Valley Theology", I would start not with the Psalms, but with the Gospel. This thought occurred to me last week as I read the following passage from The Beautiful Fight (pp. 57-58):

"Pastor Randy and Janet Murphy offered a moving account of God's grace and healing in their marriage, and in the midst of their story, they recounted the words of a counselor who reminded them that, apart from Christ's we all deserve hell. Not off in the future, but right now, at this very moment, we've all qualified for eternal judgment.
"'So if it's true that we all deserve hell,' Randy's counselor had said, 'then isn't it also true that anything less than that is a pretty good day?'"

It really struck me then that the Gospel is good news, not just for the conversion of the sinner, but for every day of the converted life of a Christian. While I can mine the Psalms for strength from God's incomparable attributes while I am walking through the valley, I must always do so in the light of God's eternal grace displayed in the gospel.

So, last week when I got rejected from the umpteenth employer for yet another different reason, I could frame that in comparison to what I really deserve. And since I didn't get what I really deserve, it was a pretty good day! Now, almost a week later and facing the holiday lull, I still don't have a job, and we haven't quite sorted out all of the details of our immediate future, but considering what I deserve, today was a pretty good day too.

This is not head-in-the-sand denial. Far from it. This is gospel-centered reality, and it really helps us to frame the rest of our 'Light and momentary' trials accordingly. So, how was your day?

Soli Deo Gloria

Candy Bars and Quotations

Well, one more week down, and God's faithfulness is still carrying us through this difficult transition. I still don't have a job. I've got a few prospects, but nothing solid just yet. We were relieved last week when the house sold (we still have to pass inspection tomorrow), but we do have the minor concern of finding a place to stay after we close on this house on January 9. That seems to also mean that I'll have to have a job by then, since most mortgage approvals or rental contracts tend to hinge on that sticky little matter of employment. That leaves us a little more than three weeks to sort that out, and we'll be in Washington, DC and Pittsburgh for one of those weeks.

So to recap: I've been unemployed for five weeks, and in another three weeks we'll be out of a place to stay. "How exactly does that spell God's faithfulness?" you might ask. Many more ways than I could possibly recount in this blog, but I'll focus on a few little "candy bars". Let me explain. A "candy bar" is a concept that was explained to us by our new friends, Brian and Amy, when we were staying with them last week in Dallas. Amy said that when you face a long difficulty like this, one of the ways that the Lord encourages our faith is by giving us little things to chew on while we are on the journey. "Kind of like finding a candy bar on a long hike when you're starving" she said. "It's not the whole meal, but it's something to tide you over."

I should back up and explain a little bit of their story. These are some of the finest people that you would ever want to know in a time like this, or any other time for that matter. About six months ago they were facing a transition that was very similar to ours in a lot of ways, but different in a couple of very significant ways. The most significant of those ways were that 1) it took a full 8 months for their house to sell, and 2) they have 8 children--that's right. 8 children. 8 months in transition. Amazing. Oh, and for two weeks during the transition they lived in their travel trailer with their 8 kids so that they could all be together while Brian was job hunting. Heroic doesn't even begin to describe what they are to us right now.

At one point they were really tapped on money, which wouldn't take long with 10 mouths to feed, and Brian was facing another difficult day job prospecting. As he was leaving his favorite internet café (an invaluable tool for the prospector), he looked on the ground next to his driver's side door and found two crisp 100-dollar bills, abandoned and looking for shelter. I don't need to tell you that these were two orphans that he was glad to take in. Thus the idea of the "candy bar" from God was born.

Brian did eventually find work, and the Lord has continued to miraculously provide for them. This doesn't mean that their struggles are over, but it also doesn't keep them from encouraging this small family during its light and momentary troubles. It is important to point out that they invited Cheryl and the kids down for the weekend because they didn't want us to be apart during the ice storm. And despite the fact that they have 10 people in a four bedroom house, they gave us two bedrooms and one bathroom, leaving two bedrooms for the 10 of them. That means that our kids stayed in a room with three beds while their kids slept on the floor. And they did it joyfully.

Back to our story, then. One of the things that has been a struggle is for Cheryl and I to find time to go out together. So even amid the financial concerns, we decided to give it a try last night. Neither one of us had a particular hankering for food, so we settled on Ted's Café Escondido on the South Side of town. Two facts are important here. First, we almost never go there. In fact, I don't know that we've been there by ourselves in the last year, if ever. Second, we don't know many people on the South Side of town. Why are these facts important, you ask? Because when it came time to pay the bill, the waiter informed us that our bill had already been paid. When we pressed him to tell us who paid it, he just said that his manager told him that it was taken care of. When we stood up to leave we scanned the restaurant, but we didn't see anyone that we recognized. We left the restaurant with our bellies full of some excellent Mexican food, but what we will remember for a long time after that is the "candy bar" that we got after the meal.

One more thing. After the meal we went to Mardel Christian Book Store to look around for a few minutes. While Cheryl browsed for a few last-minute deals on gifts, I wandered over to my new favorite section, the Puritan Classics. What I picked up was a collection of sermons by the great Puritan preacher and theologian, Johnathan Edwards, entitled Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God. History buffs will know this as the title of his most famous sermon and catalyst of the Great Awakening in North America. What most don't know (including me until last night) is that eight years later he was fired from the same pulpit where he preached that sermon over his Biblical stand for closed Christian communion. This left him unemployed with eleven children and a wife and no employment prospects. The book begins with this story, including the following excerpt from a letter that he wrote to a friend three days after leaving his employment unceremoniously:

"I am now, as it were, thrown upon the wide ocean of the world, and know not what will become of me and my...family...We are in the hands of God and I bless him. I am not anxious concerning his disposal of us."

Needless to say, my faith was challenged, and my mind was full. After all, that was my second candy bar in one night.

Soli Deo Gloria!

Homeless and unemployed--yeah!! Plus Psalm 25

Well friends, I'm back on the blog after a long layoff. I can't promise that I will be posting on a daily basis as before until my life becomes more settled, but I will try my best to be more regular than every two weeks!

Here's the quick version of the update on the last couple of weeks since my last post. Last week I was holding out hope for a position that I became aware of after my last post. I went through three pretty intensive interviews for it, and it seemed like a good fit for me, but ultimately it fell through at the end of the week. It was a bummer, and it took quite a bit to rebound from that hit, but the Lord was faithful even in the depths of disappointment. I don't want to say that casually, so let me emphasize that for a moment. The Lord is faithful, especially in the depths of disappointment. I want to say that a hundred times in a hundred different ways. Let me give you just a few. He is faithful through His leading. He is faithful in His teaching. He is faithful in His gentle, loving, encouragement. He is faithful in discipline and chastening. He is faithful in deepening my walk with Him. He is faithful through His church. He is faithful in miraculous provision. He is faithful in normal ways. He is faithful in Fathering. He is faithful in His Word. He is faithful in joyous times and in sorrow. He is faithful prosperity and in lack. He is faithful in success and in disappointment. He is faithful. A thousand ways He is faithful.

When the disappointment hit last Thursday I went through my usual whirlwind of introspection and doubt. This is a dangerous and very tempting combination (see the Israelite children in the wilderness, Job's friends, Elijah in the cave [I Kings 19], Jonah, the disciples in John 9:1, etc.). Thankfully, a couple of things helped to point me back to our Great God before I had a chance to spiral too far into despair. First, the family of God was very helpful. Many people, both in Texas and in Oklahoma (and other places) have been repeatedly faithful to encourage me to look to the Lord. I say repeatedly faithful, not because they forget that they have already told me to look to the Lord, but because I need it over and over again. Within 2 hours of the time that I was notified that I didn't get the job, Cheryl e-mailed me a long and encouraging Scripture complete with underlined points that helped me to see the wonderful, kind hand of God, even in the valley of disappointment. Many others also gathered around to point me to the Lord and encourage me to rejoice in the faithful direction of the Lord (even closed doors are direction!).

Secondly, the Word has been very helpful (of course). I had a little trouble sleeping on Thursday night (always a troublesome sign for a person that is supposed to be completely trusting in the Lord). After some time tossing and turning and ruminating on my [light and momentary] troubles, I woke up and turned to the Word. For no particular reason I turned to Psalm 25, which will now be one of my all time favorite Psalms. It spoke deeply to me in the timeliness of my circumstances, and it specifically pointed me to my sinfulness, God's mercy, and His faithful hand.

At the risk of giving a very subjective interpretation let me just make a few guarded comments. First, it spoke to my circumstances and my sin. Verses 16-18 say, "16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. 17 The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. 18 Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins." (ESV) It seems as if this is the exact pattern that my heart follows. Affliction and trouble most often turn me inward. When this happens "the troubles of my heart are enlarged" and I become fixated on the problem. When that happens loneliness is not far behind. After all, when I am fixated on my own problems I have a very difficult time seeing how anyone in history could have possibly ever survived something this bad. Gloom, despair, and agony on me. It is a startling discovery sometimes to realize the many different manifestations of pride, in this case through despair. Thankfully, the Psalmist lead me out of that place by adopting the Lord's perspective in verse 18, "Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins."

Then, this Psalm encouraged me by pointing past my heart toward God's mercy and faithfulness. As one friend encouraged me, "Your hope is not in job opportunities. Your hope is in the Lord." It was so helpful to see how this truth rang out in this Psalm. The points that were especially helpful to me were the following:

1) God has a history of mercy and faithfulness - v. 6, "6Remember your mercy, O LORD, and your steadfast love, for they have been from of old."

• This is not a reminder to God that He is faithful. This is a reminder to me that He is faithful. And His résumé goes way back. Like, way before me. The Psalmist is not saying, "Remember the time you helped me with a math test in sixth grade." He is saying that from the dawn of time, God has caused the sunrise and sunset with startling regularity. He has given us oxygen to breathe, and He has sustained life on this planet. With that same regularity He has exercised love and mercy with His people. He sent His Son according to His faithful plan to redeem His people from their sins.
• We know that God is faithful because He has a history of faithfulness.

2) My hope must squarely rest on God's attributes, not my own

• This is good news. I can't even be faithful for five minutes, let alone through the ages of time! But God on the other hand...
• He is the God of my salvation - v. 5
• He is merciful and loving - v. 6
• He is forgiving and good - v. 7
• He is upright (no sin or error in His ways) - v. 8
• He is the faithful teacher - vv. 9-10
• In contrast, I am the faithless, sinful transgressor.

3) Even when I really, really want a position, God's patient faithful hand guides me

• I know this is a very personal application for this Scripture, but it really struck me. There are assurances of the Lord's leading all through this Psalm, but the phrase that lept off of the page for me was v. 4, "Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths." I am not smart enough to know which job position is the one that would glorify the Lord. Even if I had five offers on the board, all with great pay and benefits, I would be utterly incapable of knowing which one would be the best one to take. And so my prayer from this Psalm has become, "Make me to know your ways, O LORD."

4) Sometimes waiting is the open door that the Lord has for me

• This part is the hard part. I'm not good at waiting. Don't judge me--you're not either. If you think you are, I dare you to pray that God would test your ability to wait on Him.
• Let me encourage you and me then. Sometimes walking past all of the closed doors is a very frustrating experience. Nothing seems less productive than identifying a door, walking up to it and turning the knob only to find out that it is locked. But God doesn't waste that time. He is using that time to teach me to wait. He values waiting.
• v. 3, "None who wait for you shall be put to shame."
• v. 5, "Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long."
• I can't clearly tell you what the purpose of this waiting is in my life right now. But I can tell you that God is not wasting this time. He is teaching me to wait.

Let me wrap this up then by giving the latest updates. I still don't have a job. I have a couple of possibilities, but nothing firm yet. I've faced some more closed doors (hopefully with more faith and grace). But the big news is that the house did sell! We signed the contract over the weekend, and we will close on it on or before January 9. This is a huge relief to Cheryl and I, and we are very grateful to the Lord for His wisdom and direction through the selling process. It was clearly Him. Before last week we were facing a lot of rejections on the house because of the roof, even though we had put in the offer sheet that we would replace the roof. A friend here wisely advised me to just replace the roof so that it is a positive instead of a negative. So we did. Literally one hour after the roofer was finished the buyers were inside, and they put an offer on it the next day. Thank God!

One last thing. When I told my Mom that the house sold, her response was, "So now you're homeless and jobless!" Yep. Just the way the Lord planned it.

Soli Deo Gloria!

Not a quick post

I have now vowed to stop writing at the top of my posts, "This is just a quick post..." because they never wind up being a "quick post". I just have to face facts, I may just be long-winded blogger.

First the update stuff. I have to admit that I was feeling pretty desperate yesterday. It is a strange thing to arrive at the place where you know you need something to happen, but you don't have any way of making it happen. I spent some time updating my résumé yesterday morning and stopped by Staples to print it out. The feeling of urgency was so overwhelming that I just stopped in the parking lot and prayed out loud, "God, I really need a miracle today." There was much more to the prayer to that, but that was the main point. But it was different than you might think. You see the prayer was more of a realization than a request. When I say that the main point of the prayer was that I need a miracle, it was not that I was communicating this to God. It was that God was (and has been for some time) communicating this to me. I am now at the point in time where I am utterly and helplessly and literally dependent on Him. I don't even know where to start without Him. I have some ideas, but all of those ideas even have a sort of dark cloud of hopelessness without Him. But I think that among other things, the Lord has prepared this season for us to realize that this is not different now than at any other time. More than just a miracle, I need the Lord. Right now, sure. But not just right now. I need Him this way all the time. The line that keeps repeating in my head comes from John MacArthur's Thanksgiving sermon last week is, "I have nothing [besides Him] and I need nothing [besides Him]". Now I must say, that I have proclaimed a thousand times in the past my trust in the Lord, but this is entirely different. I don't even know that I did (or do) trust Him without this testing time. How faithful the Lord is to bring these times of testing and strengthening to us.

At any rate, I continued to pray out loud for most of the rest of the morning until I stopped to drop a résumé off at a Christian internet company. Before I went in I received a phone call from my mom which kept me in the car for just a few extra minutes. This is unremarkable by itself (after all, my mom calls me all the time), except that while I was talking on the phone with her a guy from the church walked by my car. This is also not that remarkable, except that I only know five or six guys from the church, and this particular guy was the one guy that I was supposed to be connecting with for potential job opportunities. I had left messages for him the previous two days, but we had missed each other. I blurted out, "Mom, I gotta go!" and hung up the phone while I darted out the car door. Almost before I knew what I was doing, I was calling out the guy's name and chasing him down. I quickly explained to him what I was doing there and handed him an extra copy of my résumé. He very graciously apologized that we had been missing each other and mentioned that he works on the same floor as the Christian internet company! (I know, this is starting to become remarkable!) Oh, and did I mention that he is a HUGE Steelers fan? As in the only person West of the Mississippi that is a bigger Steelers fan than me.

Through a long set of circumstances no less remarkable than these already mentioned and clearly ordered by God, I wound up at his house that night for a care group meeting. All of those that were gathered were wonderfully encouraging to me in exactly the ways that I needed to simultaneously remove the impending desperation and encourage my utter dependence on God. It was really remarkable. Now, I don't know if anything will develop at this company or not, but it doesn't matter to me. The miracle has already happened. God has reassured my weak heart that He is in control and He is at work. The rest is just details.

I can't say that I won't waiver any more. Heck, I can't even say that I haven't waivered since then. But I can say for certain that when I do, a very faithful and very real God has aggressively addressed my faithless heart. I John 3:20 says it well, "whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything."

Thank you for your prayers and your support. It means more than you will know. We are grateful to God for His faithfulness, and for His peoples' faithfulness as well. Maybe I'll do more than the update stuff later.

Soli Deo Gloria

Update and No Fear

For those of you that are keeping up with our transition to Texas, I've been trying to keep the new information at the top of each blog post so that you don't have to wade through my devotional meanderings to find out where in the world are the Websters. Here's the skinny for today. As you may know, my warmest job lead went ice cold yesterday when the company decided to pursue someone with more sales experience. The nerve! Ah well, back to square one. So the rest of the day yesterday and the majority of this morning was spent heating up the phone lines again to scare up some leads. About lunch time I hopped in the CRV and headed down to Big D with some possibilities and a lot of prayer. I dropped one résumé off at a church that needs a Business Administrator, and then I dropped in at the NACBA (that's the National Association of Church BA's) office that is headquartered in Richardson, just North of Dallas. I picked up one possible contact there, and I'll try to track it down with the rest of my warm leads tomorrow. I'll post the progress as it comes. Many people are a tremendous source of encouragement to me in this process, but I want to make special mention of Cheryl, my wife who is full of faith and encouragement. She never seems to waiver, while I seem to be waivering moment by moment. I am convinced that the Lord will faithfully provide to the praise of His glory; however, sometimes it is difficult to get my feelings to catch up. Our house has some warm leads as well. Nothing concrete, but there is some activity. If you are praying specifically, please keep these two requests in mind. Thank you.

Now for one quick devotional thought from John 15-21. I read most of this while I was in the car on the way down here. I know, not safe. But it was the middle of the afternoon, in the middle of Oklahoma. A car wreck would have been a welcome break from the monotony. At any rate, I can read while I drive, and I can blog while I drive, but I can't read and blog while I drive with any coherency. Nor can I take notes with any efficiency. So I'm just going to have to leave it to a simple thought.

You may be aware that these chapters represent the last hours of Jesus' life through his resurrection. Included in this is the greatest injustice and the worst trial and sentencing in the history of man. All of these, of course, were inflicted on our Savior for our good (Hebrews 12:3). The thought that struck me from a couple of verses in this passage was that Jesus faced all of this with an utter lack of fear of man. Consider this progression.

• John 15:18-20, "18 If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. 20Remember the word that I said to you: 'A servant is not greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you." Jesus rightly describes the hatred that the world has for the embodiment of the Rigtheousness of God, and He correctly predicts his suffering. But the tenor of the passage is not fear or dread or complaining or even pity-mongering. Amazingly it is assurance and encouragement. "The world hates me and is going to kill me. They'll do the same to you. Be encouraged." No fear of man there. In fact the exact opposite, an encouragement to not fear man. The encouragement concludes in the first part of chapter 16, "1"I have said all these things to you to keep you from falling away. 2 They will put you out of the synagogues. Indeed, the hour is coming when whoever kills you will think he is offering service to God. 3And they will do these things because they have not known the Father, nor me. 4But I have said these things to you, that when their hour comes you may remember that I told them to you." Praise Him.
• Jesus continues to teach and pray in the same setting until chapter 18 when they change locations to the Garden of Gethsemane. The remarkable scene is described this way, "1When Jesus had spoken these words, he went out with his disciples across the Kidron Valley, where there was a garden, which he and his disciples entered. 2Now Judas, who betrayed him, also knew the place, for Jesus often met there with his disciples. 3 So Judas, having procured a band of soldiers and some officers from the chief priests and the Pharisees, went there with lanterns and torches and weapons. 4Then Jesus, knowing all that would happen to him, came forward and said to them, "Whom do you seek?" 5They answered him, "Jesus of Nazareth." Jesus said to them, "I am he." Judas, who betrayed him, was standing with them. 6 When Jesus said to them, "I am he," they drew back and fell to the ground." Again, Scripture is clear. Jesus was fully aware of all that would happen to Him. More than that, He had embraced His redemption mission. Without waiting for the betrayer's band of soldiers to press the procedings, Jesus approached them and seemingly leads them through His arrest. It is obvious that He could have overpowered them with a word, yet instead He offered Himself to them.
• When Jesus is brought before Annas, the High Priest's father-in-law (Oy, I could spend a while on this guy, but I am reminded that my sins condemned the Savior as much as his) he is asked a ludicrous question. Even though it is in the middle of the night in front of a kangaroo court, Jesus answers boldly, "I have spoken openly to the world. I have always taught in synagogues and in the temple, where all Jews come together. I have said nothing in secret. 21Why do you ask me? Ask those who have heard me what I said to them; they know what I said." No fear for the scoundrel High Priest (who was not, in fact, the actual High Priest) or his paid muscle that inflicts the first unjust blow. He is so taken back with the Lord's lack of fear that he intones, "Is that how you answer the high priest?" Again Jesus, without a hint of fear, responds, "If what I said is wrong, bear witness about the wrong; but if what I said is right, why do you strike me?"
• You may ask, "Yeah, but Web, what about when He is praying in the Garden? Isn't there fear there? After all, what was all that sorrow and sweating drops of blood?" Perhaps it is fear, but I would submit that if it is, it is fear of the wrath of the Lord. Remember His prayer? "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will." Never in all of the proceedings did He ever exhibit fear towards man. Grace, yes. Truth, yes. Love, always. Fear--absolutely not.

The conclusion? Remember the Lord's words from Luke 12:4-7, "4"I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more. 5But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after the killing of the body, has power to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him. 6Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. 7Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."

Don't miss the great encouragement and strength that comes from this perspective! Jesus says, "I will show you whom you should fear." We don't have to fear man. All he can do is kill the body. Yet in the fear of God there is great comfort. I am not forgotten by God. All of the hairs of my head are numbered. Okay, maybe that is a bad example. Nonetheless, I am loved and provided for by a great, fearsome, awesome God. That's great news!

Soli Deo Gloria!

Jesus loves you. So...John 11:5-6

A quick update before a quick post. The main job lead that I had fell through today. I went on a second interview with them last week, but they decided to pursue someone with more sales experience. Back to square one on the job front. I will drive back down to Dallas tomorrow to try to scare up some more leads. As much as I am disappointed, it is appropriate for today's post. God is so faithful and loving, and I am confident in His faithful plan. Please continue to pray for wisdom and patience for me during this process.

Now to today passage. I am working my way through the Gospel of John now for the third time, seven chapters at a time. There are many things that you see when you work through a book of the Bible this way, several of which I posted in the Random Things post from November 12. One of the most enjoyable things about going through the Bible this way is that unexpected things seem to jump out from familiar passages. Today I was in John 8-14, which contains the very familiar story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead in John 11. Most people have heard or read this passage at least a hundred times, so I won't go through the whole story. I just want to focus on two verses that I never noticed before today. That's not exactly accurate. I noticed them before, I just didn't notice how the two verses went together.

Here's the context. Martha and Mary send word to Jesus that Lazarus is sick. Jesus tells the disciples that, "This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it." (ESV) That part is important too, and we'll get to it later. The interesting part comes in the next two verses. It says, "5Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. 6So..." Stop right there for a minute. We have a lot of ways that we would like to finish that sentence. "Jesus loved Lazarus so he healed him." We know that Jesus could do that. He had already healed several people in John's gospel, including the official's son in 4:46-54, whom he healed from a distance. Surely he could have done that for Lazarus. "Jesus loved Lazarus so he went to him and comforted him." Now, if he wasn't going to heal him, the compassionate thing to do would be to go and be with him in his sickness, right? I mean if he loved him, he would, wouldn't he? There are a lot of other ways that we could presume to finish that sentence, about a thousand of them would come before how the sentence is actually completed. It says, "5Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. 6So, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was."

Now, since we're so familiar with the story, this is not necessarily surprising to us. We know that Jesus stayed two days longer until Lazarus was 4 days dead. We know that Jesus had compassion on Martha and Mary in their loss. We know that Jesus wept for them. And we know that Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead to delight of Mary and Martha, and the amazement of all that had gathered (they were so amazed that they continued to talk about it until the triumphal entry [12:17]). The point is not that he stayed two days longer. The point is the connection between his love for Lazarus and his sisters and the fact that he stayed. Scripture is very obvious in making this point. Some of the translations weaken this point by changing the location of the "so", and the KJV leaves it out all together, but it seems to me to be consistent to leave it there. It certainly convicted me when I read it that way.

Let me just confess my own sin and weakness at this point. There are times in my life (now would be one of them) when I feel like I am at least 3 days dead. Right now I am waiting for a job, and I can't help but think of the bills coming, and wonder how in the world God is going to work this out. And if I'm honest, there are moments when I think I should be more love-able so that God will work everything out the way that I want. When I read this passage, I was convicted deeply of this, and reminded again of God's faithfulness. A couple of points became very clear.

1. Sometimes being dead 4 days displays God's love. It sure doesn't seem like it sometimes, but the truth is that God always shows his love in the ways that are most glorious to him and best for us. After all, even being dead 4 days can't separate me from his love (Romans 8:35-39).
2. God loves me out of His bountiful grace, because of His Son who always does what pleases the Father (John 8:29). Nothing that I can do can surpass His grace and make me more love-able so that He would have to work things out according to my plan. How can the recipient of such grace and love complain about the means by which he receives that grace and love?
3. God loves me this way to display His glory, not to work things according to my plan and glorify me. This is my consistent sin. Falling short of His glory in all of my thoughts. Most of the time I stop at would would bring me the most glory. John Piper says that this is the fundamental definition of sin according to Romans 3:23. God is immeasurably glorious, and He displays His glory in His kind love for us.

So, am I now convinced of His great love for me, despite my circumstances? Am I resolute in bringing Him glory in all of my circumstances? Am I grateful for His kind provision in all things, knowing that He is the absolute source and my only need? Well, I can only say that I am learning to do so more each day.

One last note before signing off. Even after all of that it would still be tempting to say, "Yeah, but look at what Jesus did for Lazarus. He raised him from the dead. Surely Lazarus didn't have any problems after that." I would just like to point out that his problems were only beginning then. John 12:10-11 says, "10 So the chief priests made plans to put Lazarus to death as well, 11because on account of him many of the Jews were going away and believing in Jesus." Hmmm. Maybe a quick post on Tuesday on the question of whether or not Lazarus would change things if he could. Until then.

Soli Deo Gloria!